Thank the GODS its friday

I just want to cry my eyes out.
Rip my eyes out from the sockets; bash myself in the back of the head.
My soul is dark is black.
I can’t bear up under the pressure; I got my foot on my neck crushing out all the words.
I see myself as myself shaking, shaking, shaking the hell out of my baby self.
My skin is cold and wet I’m dead dying to get out of my skin.
Screaming the voices are crowded in my brain causing causing me extreme distress, diarrhea, tears, fears, worries, pain.
My brain is on fire I’m a live wire ready to explode.
Shoot the shit out of my misery.
I want to give the bluest eye a black eye, stupid Mary Jane candies gets stuck in my teeth.
Get me some good ole tasty collard greens, corn bread and sweet tea to wash down the taste of torment as I peer into the looking glass at my soul.
Hollow and fake fragile as porcelain and just as easy to break.
Don’t stop me now I’m on a roll you wanted a story to be told.

Untitled and unfinished, Angee continues

I’m on all fours praying to the porcelain goddess. Retching up my guts from being drunk on self-hate, self mutilation, date rape, spouse abuse, drug misuse ughhhhh! I vomit into the toilet bowl.

I’m on the banks of the river Nile; Isis protectively holds back my locs from my face as I purge my body of all its dis-ease. Transformed into Hathor balancing gingerly on wobbly knees. Spewing tumors and cancer, venereal disease, AIDS, plagues escape my lips.

I’m deep in the delta, back weary hands calloused and I see a hand with a bullwhip hovering above me. Damn, this is the slave history in me. So I lock my knees and brace my body for the whip. As my skin is being broken I pray to the goddess of the fertile ground let my blood nourish you. Strengthen you so that you might grow rumble and quake shaking all this misery away.

I vomit up the sun rise and shit out the moon. I am the b-i-t-c-h that rides the Milky Way on a broom. At the moment of my pleasure waves lick at the seashore, birds flutter through the air. Orgasmic volcanic eruptions hot loving lava stream forth. Earth quaking erotic moans of shearing white lighting pleasure emitted with supersonic screams send creatures of the night dizzy. Billions of stars ejaculated my cosmic lover comes. My milk feeds and is consumed by nations of men birthed from a red clay womb. My body is not a tomb to lay rest bodies of war tearing earthly wounds. Gashes dug deeply in my skin men plunder my precious cavity deplete me of natural resources.

Carrying the weight of our world on my shoulders, I carry the weight of its pain on my back. I strap a baby on my back as if it were a lithe nap sack. I am woman, am mother, am a clever creature with a baby as a nap sack. Truth be told I’m as old as the rivers as wide as the seas. I am mother to the trees swift are the licks I strike out a lash of sweet summers breeze as easy as I please.

This is from a writing exercise to promote healing for DV survivors I decided to share. This blog is a space for my transformation where I can express me.