Moved

We've moved into a very nice duplex from a very very small basement apartment. Anyone in their right mind would feel as if they've moved up. But a don't feel at home it doesn't feel permeate, no security. I felt more at home in our old 4 room basement apartment. You'd think I've finally got what I wanted a nice place to live room for my kids to spread out. But it's not my home. We sleep together back to back. When he goes to shower I read his text messages - can i have some money to get my hair done for my birthday or How horny she is? I haven't been horny in about 3-4 years. Going through the motions of a relationship funny what the mind and body are capable of. Just Saturday he was talking about our wedding how it would be in Egypt. When he's been drinking and feeling good boy, do the fantasies happen. The next morning drunk and hung-over he was the spittin demon I know him to be. But I was just thinking how not at home I feel.